In early part of 2012, I wrote an article here in the MetroPost titled A fresh perspective, capturing my first impressions of Dumaguete City, my new home. It was before I found work at Foundation University, helping my husband Ray launch the first design-build architecture studio, before we climbed Mt. Talinis and Canlaon, and before we had our first child at Silliman Medical Center.
While a year and a half is not long in the span of a lifetime, there are some experiences that make a deeper impression than the calendar year suggests — and our time in Dumaguete is definitely one of them.
We were determined to make the most of living in the Philippines, traveling throughout Western Visayas on weekends, and rising before the sun to bike the trails of Valencia, Bacong, and Sibulan during weekdays. High in the mountains of Valencia, there is a beautiful classroom that wouldn’t have existed if my husband and I hadn’t seen it built. While we have sailed off the shore of Boracay, island- hopped in El Nido, and snorkeled in Bohol, we have also become regulars at Kri, Sans Rival, Wayway Terminal, and the Paunay market.
Dumaguete has become home.
Which makes it all the harder to leave. In a couple of weeks, we must return to Seattle, Washington where our family and house await.
This had been our plan all along — after my husband first accepted a short-term contract with Foundation University — but neither of us realized how much we would grow to love the Philippines, and specifically Dumaguete.
We know we are not the first to get ‘snatched’ by this town. We have befriended many in a similar state; fellow wanderers who have been taken in by this unique place.
So what is it about Dumaguete? We have been thinking about this a lot as we face the end. What have we learned here that we want to take with us? What may eventually draw us back?
In my first article, I listed several early lessons learned; now in this final article, I think it appropriate to list the lasting impressions, the ones that have changed us for the better:
Beginning with a Prayer. While I am not a religious person, I have appreciated the ritual of giving thanks and asking for guidance out loud, and as a group. Humbling oneself before undertaking something big, or being grateful for even the ordinary. Prayer forms bonds among those who bow their heads together, and is a healthy reminder of the daily gift of life.
Eating Fresh. How we will miss the Dumaguete markets! We will never be able to fill our grocery bags with a week’s supply of FRESH fruits and veggies for less than $6. Fish fresh from the sea, pork butchered the morning of, bountiful piles of kamote, pipino, kamatis, pechay, carrots, mangga, saging, nangka, pina, pakwan… These are the best we have eaten in our lives.
Making Time for Chika Chika. Get to know your neighbors, co-workers, shopkeepers, pedicab drivers. A little time spent in friendly conversation can turn up unexpected similarities or long-lost family relations. It also makes for a much more interesting day, and a safe, compatible world.
Bring House! Dumagueteños take hospitality very seriously — whether you have just met or you are old friends, the red carpet is spread for all. And the food supply must be enough for everyone to eat until busog, and then bring house another serving for later. Along these same lines, drinking becomes communal: if a bottle is opened, it must be finished — pass the cup!
“Wait for a while”. Wala’y problema! What doesn’t get done today, can get done tomorrow. This can be a source of frustration when you first arrive but once you adjust to the pace, you realize the benefit of this relaxed attitude; probably adds years to your lifespan. After all, why die today when it can wait?
Sharing Your Wealth. Wealth and good fortune are relative. While Americans often get caught in the comparison game, never satisfied, Dumagueteños appreciate whatever it is they do have by sharing it with those without. I have seen this play out at all levels of society, with all manner of giving: from extravagant Christmas parties open to those without their own family nearby, to school children sharing their prize with the rest of class.
Keep Singing. When in doubt, smile and make the best of your situation. We lived through Sendong, the earthquake, and Pablo during our short time in Dumaguete, and the resiliency of this town is commendable. In big and small things, Dumagueteños demonstrate adaptability, resourcefulness, and contentedness with their lot. And always a song to sing.
Someday we must return to ensure that our firstborn June Marie understands where she comes from, and why it is such a special place.
