Julie’s (not her name) mother, from Butuan, met her father, from Leyte, when they were both working in Cagayan. At 17, her mother had a first daughter and then just over a year later, Julie was born. However, her parents soon parted ways, and Julie’s mother returned to Butuan taking her elder daughter, while her father returned to St. Bernard, Leyte, taking the year-old baby. Julie was given into the care of her maternal grandmother. When her grandmother died, Julie was taken in by her aunt, her father’s sister who had children herself.
In Butuan, her mother took a new husband and had a son, however, after some short years, they too parted ways. She left to work in Manila leaving her son with her mother, along with her first child, Julie’s sister. While working in Manila, Julie’s mother met another man who became her third husband and had three children with him. Julie’s mother today is still only 39 years old.
Julie’s father, in the meantime, took a new wife in St. Bernard, Leyte and had three children with her. Julie was just starting high school when the Guinsaugon landslide happened. Her aunt and her children were swallowed up by the mud as were her father, his wife and their three children. Fortunately, her father was dug out and survived, but none of the others did. Julie escaped the tragedy because she had been sent on an errand to another town on that very day.
Her father being unwell and unable to look after her, she was sent to live with another aunt in Negros Oriental. One day, her older sister whom she hadn’t seen since she left Mindanao suddenly appeared to take Julie back to Butuan. She said she had a job there, would look after her sister and see to it that Julie finished high school. They settled in Butuan but after some months, the sister lost her job and went to Davao, leaving Julie with an aunt. Julie soon met a young man, got pregnant, had a child and moved in with him. She still hadn’t finished high school. The young man only had occasional work, and particularly when there was no money for food they would quarrel and he would hit Julie. The battering became more frequent. Julie borrowed money to run away with her baby to return to her aunt in Negros. She didn’t go back to Leyte because she had never lived with her father and in any case, he had a new wife she didn’t know.
If this were fiction, an editor might feel the need to trim down the dismaying twists and turns of events, perhaps in the interest of a more realistic narrative. But this is the true life of a young girl in this country. And if anyone is tempted to think that this is a rare and unusual story, it only shows how out of touch people who lead more stable or comfortable lives are about bleak realities out there. I cringe to hear the common chorus of self-righteous, cloying platitudes about “the basic unit of society”, the sacred right of parents to guide and educate their children, specially voiced by those who oppose women’s rights and sexuality education. The harm they do by enforcing ignorance and female subservience is immense. They bear a heavy moral responsibility for the social backwardness and disorder that blight so many lives.