“For a moment, I thought I could forget you, how wrong I was, how wrong I was..!” the love poem by Rolando Carbonel goes, which is applicable in these times of remembrance on All Souls Day.
This is true for us Filipinos because every year, most of us honor our ancestors and beloved departed by trooping to the memorial parks, cemeteries, offering flowers, prayers, and connecting with relatives and friends.
These are precious moments that most families treasure, as they share various anecdotes and family tales that connect several generations.
As we know, the family is the oldest and most intense social institution. It is common among households to have three generations under one roof.
However, that is slowly being eroded by the fairly new composition of Filipino families: single parenthood, or absentee-parents due to the modern day diaspora for employment in urban centers or abroad. It has become a reality that more and more children are growing up without the significant members of the family unit.
It is important to remember that being able to connect with role models within the family is important, as values of loyalty, respect for elders, family ties, and shared history are vital to the formation of the identity of the Filipino psyche.
The Filipino traits have an enduring force that has remained in the book of unwritten laws. The Filipino parent exercises absolute power over his/her children, and whatever decisions the parent makes are respected.
In the past, it was quite impossible for any child to act without permission from the parent.
While times have changed, it is still an overriding trait that should not be underestimated. Lest we forget that the younger generations acquire their knowledge and wisdom from the collective inputs of the members of the family.
It is also the source of the trait to be faithful and loyal to commitments on matters of personal relationships.
So when the time for All Saints Day on Nov. 1, and All Souls Day on Nov. 2 come, these traits handed down from generation to generation in many Filipino families, whether nuclear, single parent, or extended, should be preserved and not forgotten.
Because try as we might, it is part of our identity, and future generations will have to take on the responsibility of not forgetting what makes us Filipino in the first place.
Filipinos have the capacity to adapt and adjust to any given environment with values that most Filipinos absorb in school or at home- palabra de honor, delicadeza, kagalingan, kaayusan, and paggalang, among others.
Filipinos also have the propensity to get along with other nationalities, because we are resourceful and have the capacity for hard work given the proper circumstances.
This is the reason why Filipinos thrive as overseas workers. The desire to raise one’s standard of living, and acquire a better life for his family drives the Filipino to excel in his work, notwithstanding the hardships in a foreign land.
These traits are essential to build on and preserve the Filipino identity. Some of these traits are inculcated consciously or unconsciously within the family.
And this is the reason why we find there are things in life that are beyond forgetting.
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Author’s email: whelmayap@yahoo.com
