Last week, families trooped to cemeteries to visit departed love ones, or even do “cemetery-hoping” to reach those who are buried in other cemeteries. This has been a common Filipino tradition every All Saints’ day (November 1) and All Souls’ day (November2), a widely celebrated religious Holiday, similar to the Mexican Tradition of “Día de los Muertos” or “Day of the Dead,” which also celebrated in New Braunfels, near San Antonio,Texas, U. S. A.,. They really go out of the way with skeleton costumes, make up and other symbols of the Dead, and there was a stall serving Filipino cuisine.
Back in the Philippines, it is time for family get together, to share with family members and relatives, jokes, anecdotes, vignettes, stories that brings back happy times. But have you tried remembering the departed, through the things they left behind? Father’s typewriter, favorite chair, book, music, food, or activity?
After the death of a loved one, have you experienced sorting out the belongings of the departed? Did you figure out what to do with all their belongings — the random collections of loose papers, official documents, jewelry, silverware, dishes, tools, photo albums, tapes, films and slides? What did you keep? Or give away? Did anyone think of ways to honor them? Did you assign a family member to keep their memory alive or did any family member just did it on their own? Did you consider it vitally important for the next generation to get to know their family history? Were there any skeletons in the closet?
Have you worked out the grieving process, so as to keep the memories of loved ones alive? Grief experts agree that taking steps to appropriately remember loved ones, are actually essential for healing. Individuals who keep the memory of loved ones alive almost always fare better emotionally than those who don’t. Honoring past relationships has proven to have such significant restorative power that grief expert J. William Worden developed an entire bereavement-recovery theory about it. Called the “tasks of mourning,” the concept not only includes remembering as a mandatory tenet, but also underscores the obligation of mourners to take control of the process of remembering. The reason, Worden says, is simple. “Death makes you feel out of control. Being proactive makes you feel stronger. Taking steps to remember leads to empowerment, and feeling empowered is absolutely necessary for living a full, happy, and loving life.” After all, no one goes out of this level of existence alive!
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