Each year, humankind is reminded of what our Lord Jesus Christ went through during the time that he lived on earth, thousands of years ago. One of the lessons gleaned from stories of Him is about forgiveness. The First Word in the Seven Words, the seven expressions of Jesus Christ on the cross as recorded in Scripture, succinctly illustrates forgiveness:
“Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34.
Forgiveness is also embodied in Our Lord’s Prayer:
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Matthew 6:12
Why forgive? Being forgiving to yourself and others can protect you against stress and the toll it takes on mental health. This was a finding in a research study which was reported in the Journal of Health Psychology. The researchers examined the effects of lifetime stress on the mental health of a person, and how more forgiving people fared compared to those who are not so forgiving. Results revealed that people with greater exposure to stress over their lifetimes had worse mental and physical health. Meanwhile, people who were highly forgiving of both themselves and others were better off — this characteristic alone virtually eliminated the connection between stress and illness (A. Sifflerin, Time Health, June 16, 2016).
How do we forgive? Charles F. Stanley,one of the most influential spiritual leaders of our day claims that forgiveness is a process that we cannot ignore if we want to become the people God created us to be. He offers four steps to forgiveness: (1) recognize we have been totally forgiven, (2) release the offender from the debt we feel he owed us,(3) accept people as they are and release them from any responsibility to meet our needs, and (4) view those we have forgiven as tools in our lives. An example is the story of Joseph and his brothers. Joseph viewed his brothers as instruments God used to place him in a position to save his family during famine. His brothers were afraid that he might get even with them. However, Joseph, replied, “You meant evil against me but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” Genesis 50:20 (In Touch Magazine, January 21, 2015).
The Path to a Forgiving Life: Robert D. Enright, a noted forgiveness expert, who has been studying forgiveness for the past 30 years and has written nine books on it, offers eight keys to follow in a path to forgiveness: (1) know what forgiveness is and why it matters; (2) become “forgivingly fit” (some of the psychological results include: lower anxiety, lower anger, lower depression if there is any, and a greater sense of self-esteem and hopefulness and healthier relationships because the person is not bringing those wounds into his relationships with others —excerpt from an interview of Dr. Enright by the American Psychological Association), (3) address your inner pain, (4) develop a forgiving mind through empathy, (5) find meaning in your suffering, (6) when forgiveness is hard, call on other strengths, (7) forgive yourself, and (8) develop a forgiving heart—being transformed from a bitter to a forgiving person may be a legacy of love that will live long after you’re gone (Greater Good Magazine, October 15, 2015). Dr. Enright concluded the interview by saying: “If you feel that you’ve been wounded by continual injustices from others, you should not vent your pent-up anger onto the less powerful in your life like your children or your co-workers. Forgiveness can unburden you of those wounds, so you can have healthier, friendlier, more just interactions with the innocent in your midst.”
So, be sure to choose forgiveness, so as to live a healthier, happier, and long life., may be up to 100 years!
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