Last June 19, I posted a poll on Facebook. The poll went this way –
How Would You Feel If Your Girlfriend Offers to Help Pay for the Engagement Ring?
- A) Grateful – I appreciate the gesture and the teamwork in our relationship.
- B) Neutral – It’s just another way to share financial responsibilities.
- C) Proud – I prefer to handle the cost on my own.
- D) Conflicted – I see her point but have mixed feelings about it.
- E) Uncomfortable – I feel it’s a tradition I want to uphold myself.
The poll was an offshoot of a viral post on Reddit wherein a young Singaporean guy went to social media to seek advice and other people’s opinions about his fiancé who offered to help him pay for the engagement ring. He was asking for advice on whether he should accept the offer or not.
I thought of creating a poll on FB to see how Filipino men and women think.
Several reactors simply gave a “thumbs up” and a “heart.” One female reactor said, “If I were a man, I think I’d be grateful. And it’s gonna set a precedent for future decisions within the marriage when it comes to dealing with financial matters.”
One reactor, a male, said “Wala ng girl na ganyan Ngayon. “ Then another one, also male, said, “The best thing to do is, Ayaw pangutang, mag tigom until the price is right then purchase.”
I guess, most of those that my poll reached, didn’t have anything to say, or perhaps they were thinking that with today’s prices, an engagement ring is unnecessary.
Sharing expenses
In today’s evolving societal norms, the concept of sharing wedding expenses between partners is becoming increasingly common and celebrated. Relative to the viral post, I think there are several compelling reasons why a girl should consider helping her fiancé with engagement and wedding expenses.
For one, a marriage, I believe, is a partnership built on equality and mutual respect. Sharing the financial responsibilities of the wedding sets a positive tone for the marriage, emphasizing that both partners are equally invested in their future together. It fosters a sense of teamwork and cooperation right from the start.
Second, weddings can be expensive. Sharing costs can alleviate financial stress and make it easier to manage expenses without putting undue pressure on one person. This practical approach can ensure that both partners are on stable financial footing as they begin their married life.
Third, there is a cultural shift nowadays. Traditional norms that place the financial burden of weddings solely on one party are gradually changing. Many modern couples view the wedding as a joint celebration, and splitting costs reflects this contemporary outlook. This shift also promotes gender equality by challenging outdated expectations.
Joint Decision-Making
Contributing to the wedding expenses allows both partners to have an equal say in the planning process. This can lead to more balanced decision-making, where both partners’ preferences and desires are considered. It ensures that the wedding reflects the tastes and values of both individuals.
Building Financial Habits
Sharing wedding expenses can be a precursor to how the couple will handle finances in their marriage. It provides an opportunity to practice budgeting, saving, and financial planning together. This experience can strengthen their financial compatibility and prepare them for future financial decisions.
Personal Empowerment
For many women, contributing to their wedding expenses can be empowering. It allows them to take an active role in the financial aspects of their lives and their marriage, fostering independence and confidence. It’s a way to assert that both partners bring valuable resources to the table.
Family Dynamics
Involving both families in the wedding expenses can also create a sense of unity and shared celebration. It can bring families closer together and distribute the financial responsibilities more evenly, preventing any one family from feeling overwhelmed.
An equitable approach
Ultimately, whether a girl should help her fiancé with wedding expenses is a personal decision that should be made based on the couple’s values, financial situation, and mutual agreement. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly about expectations and to reach a consensus that feels right for both partners. Sharing wedding expenses can symbolize a modern, equitable approach to marriage, setting a strong foundation for a shared future.
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