Here are some gags and giggles, rhymes and riddles which I have acquired in my life.
My son who was barely three years old used to ask my friends this question: Who can jump higher than a skyscraper? Answer: Anybody can jump higher than a skyscraper because a skyscraper cannot jump!
Why is a skeleton afraid to cross the road? Answer: Because it has no guts.
Why is it that Adam and Eve cannot be Chinese? Answer: because if they were Chinese, the snake that tempted them to eat the forbidden fruit would have been the one eaten for dinner; the Chinese consider the snake a delicacy and an aphrodisiac.
Why was Jesus crucified? Answer: Because he was charged for treason for claiming that he is King of the Jews and that he is the new Messiah that will deliver the Jews from the Roman empire. In other words, Jesus was crucified for being guilty of treason.
Money is not the root cause of evil; it is the lack of it.
Why is it that in the Philippines during elections, hundreds get killed? Because many Filipinos are civic-spirited; they kill each other so that they will be the one to be allowed to serve the people.
The new Golden Rule is “He who has the gold makes the rule.”
Marriage is not intentional but voluntary.
It takes magic how two people meet each other.
God makes it so pleasurable, otherwise nobody would like to do it.
Do not be in a hurry; life is very short anyway. And you never will get out of it alive.
To conquer death, you only have to die.
The greatest penalty is to sentence you to live forever.
I refuse to be aggravated by stupid people; otherwise, my life would be dependent on stupid people.
I may be crazy but I am not stupid.
Be proud to be a senior citizen; it is a privilege given to a few of which many had been deprived of.
What is it that you wasted in one half of your life, and spent the whole remaining one half trying to recover it? Answer: Your youth!
You cannot buy happiness with money, but I am not saying that money is immaterial.
All women do it for money, one way or another.
What is meant by “envelopmental journalism”? Answer: They distribute envelopes [with money] to journalists.
In order to have no problem with money, do not spend it.
If President Aquino succeeds in sending all corrupt government officials, it will be bad for the Philippines because he will no longer have a government.
The best way to enjoy life is to stop complaining about it; just adjust into it.
The husband is advised to avoid cholesterol so he stops sleeping with his wife who is full of cholesterol.
Remember that for a moment of indiscretion, you suffer a lifetime of regrets, but who, in the moment of ecstasy, could think of such consequences?
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