A famous Christian Author, Lewis Smedes, aptly wrote in one of his books, (he said) “ If you live long enough, chances are you’ll be hurt by someone you counted on to be your friend. And. Like most of us, we may let that hurt fester and grow until it stifles our joy of living.”
Well, true enough, we all have gone through strained relationships and broken relationships; in various degrees, in different shapes and sizes.
Somebody has hurt us, maybe yesterday, maybe it was year’s back already and still we cannot forget it. Worst of all, we did not deserve the hurt. It went deep enough to lodge itself in our memory. And it keeps hurting us now.
Let me tell you this: You are not alone! We all muddle our way through a world where even well-meaning and good people hurt each other.
Deep hurts we never deserve flow from a dead past into our living present. A friend betrays us; a parent abuses us; a boyfriend/ girlfriend leaves us in the cold – these hurts do not heal easily, even through time. We’ve all wished at one time or another that we could reach back to that painful moment and cut it out of our lives. We sometimes find our pains of the past keep rolling through our memories, and there’s nothing we can do to stop the flow.
A few days ago a friend of mine confided to me saying, “ I don’t want to get into another relationship anymore. I’m afraid of getting hurt again.” I told her, “ that’s true and I understand how you feel but would that solve your problem of getting over with your hurtful memories? If that your is way of overcoming the broken relationship that might haunt you and affect your possible future relationships? ”
John Powell puts it very profoundly when he said “ getting into a relationship is actually risking yourself of getting hurt.” Like swimming, if you want to learn to swim, you have to get into the water first. In the process, you’ll experience water getting into your ears, into your nose, and you’ll briefly drown in several instances until you can keep yourself afloat.” In essence what the he is saying is – if you don’t want to get hurt, then don’t get into a relationship. But in doing so, be prepared to find yourself missing out the happiness and joy relationships can offer.
We live in a hurt-filled world. Pains, unfortunately, is part and parcel of the life we live. It’s included in the package and we can’t choose and pick the pieces we only want.
The great Jewish philosopher Hannah Arendt in her book “The Human Condition” shared that her discovery of the only power that can stop the inexorable stream of painful memories is the “The faculty of Forgiveness ”.
Forgiveness is God’s invention for coming to terms with a world in which, despite their best intentions, people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. Our Lord Jesus Christ began by forgiving us. — He invites us all to forgive each other.
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Author’s email: noelyasi@yahoo.com
