“Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live in the present, and make it beautiful.”– Anonymous. (Thanks to an FB friend who sent this quote to me)
Where do you belong? Are you crying over the past? Or are you stressing over the future? Or are you living in the moment?
I know that there are many of us are happy now because it is graduation time. However, others are sad because of unexpected events which they have experienced, like a death in the family or other tragic circumstances. While the euphoria may soon dissipate for the first group, the sadness felt by the second group may last long (especially for some). Losing a loved one is particularly painful for many of us…hence, some are still crying for a long time. And a third group, choose to live in the moment!
Stuck in the past
In an ebook, Why am I Still Crying? Shanta Collins says: “Why am I still crying over the past? Am I truly saved, delivered, and healed? Why am I allowing the enemy to take over my past and bring it into my today?”
Some people have difficulty moving on beyond the past and finding happiness.
Here are ways to help you move on: 1) Focus on the present by practicing mindfulness, by living in the moment and grounding techniques; 2) Practice forgiveness. First forgive yourself —-acknowledge your mistakes and imperfections. Treating yourself with kindness and compassion; secondly, forgive others—-release anger, resentment and negativity towards those who have hurt you; and lastly, self-compassion—- replace negative self-talk with more. Forgiving and understanding thoughts; and 3) Embrace Positive Change by a) setting new goals—focus on future aspirations and accomplishments, shift your attention away from past regrets; b) exploring new hobbies —engage in activities that bring you joy and help you connect with your passions; c) Prioritize physical activity; d) Seek professional support; and journaling, positive affirmations, surround yourself with positive people—-spend time with individuals who offer support and encouragement, and finally, learn from the past —-reflect on your experiences to gain wisdom and insights, but don’t let them define your future.
Thinking about the future
Sheryl Ankrom (How to Stop Worrying about the Future, Feb. 5, 2024 verywellmind.com) writes: “It’s normal to worry from time to time. Given life’s many unknowns and challenges, worry is a natural response to many situations. Thinking about the future is normal. But lying awake at night fretting about upcoming events is not healthy.”
She gives the following tips to stop worrying about the future: 1) Acknowledge your feelings; 2) Set realistic, manageable goals; 3) Avoid fortune telling; 4) Be realistic with risks. 5) Limit worrying time. 6) Practice relaxation techniques. (7) Live in the moment. 8) Talk to a friend; and 9) Seek professional help.
Ankrom concludes: “Most importantly, keep in mind that worry is a normal part of life, however chronic or excessive worry can negatively impact your health and wellbeing. By learning stress-reduction and techniques, you may be able to keep the symptoms of chronic worrying under control.
Living in the moment
It is about paying attention to the here and now. Instead of letting your mind wander, you’re focused on your current actions, sensations, and surroundings.
Here are seven tips for being more present: 1) Monotasking. 2) Breathing exercises —-simple as it seems, mindful breathing can be a powerful tool for managing your emotions, improving your mental wellness, and learning to live in the moment. 3) Meditation is about learning to be present in your body and mind. One of the simplest methods is to sit in a quiet space with your eyes closed. Let your thoughts come and go, but focus on your breath instead of getting caught up in your thoughts. 4) Mindful-based stress reduction — this was developed in 1979 by Dr. Jonn Kabat-Zinn, which is based on Buddhist practices of mindfulness and meditation. 5) Mindful movement through exercise often requires us to pause and focus on our bodies and breathing. Mindful movement can help you feel more present and connected to your body. Certain forms of movement emphasise focusing on your breath and the sensations within your body—-examples include: yoga (my grandson David and I have been doing chair yoga for 30 minutes everyday, for quite a time now), tai chi, qigong and Pilates.
Or you can go on a slow, mindful walk — try to pay attention to your breath, your posture, and your surroundings. 6)Reducing distractions. It sounds simple but reducing distractions can make it easier to focus on the “here and now,” especially when your willpower is low. 7) Journaling for stress relief and emotional wellness.
Here is a Bible verse to inspire you: Matthew 6:34: “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
And some quotes: “You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” — Henry David Thoreau
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that nobody is here forever. You have to live for the moment, each and every day…the here, the now. — Simone Elkeles, Perfect Chemistry.
“You can’t go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is…now.” Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why.
“What day is it?” asked Pooh. “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favorite day,” said Pooh. — A.A. Milne
Living in the moment is not always easy…but you can do it!
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Author’s email: nptayko@gmail.com
