The term living the dream has only three words, but significant implications. It’s a condition, a state of being, to which I’ve aspired for many years.
Part of the requirement for me is living in the tropics. I did that when I was living in Costa Rica, but a subsequent poor business decision brought me back to America. For the past three years, I’ve again been living here in the tropics, but this time have no plans to ever leave. I’m finally living my dream.
Growing up in Ireland as part of a successful business family, I was expected to accumulate material wealth. I did that, but found that it sustained me only on a superficial, and ultimately, unsatisfying level.
Let me be clear, there’s nothing to recommend material poverty. It’s essential to have sufficient money depending on one’s needs. But, and this is the classic dilemma, what should those needs be in order to achieve self-fulfillment? Absent an esthetic, monastic existence, is that not an impossible goal?
I’ve created a life of craziness for myself, for those who have loved me, and for many who have not. My addictions demanded submission and, for most of my life, I allowed them conquer me. Interestingly, I’ve always believed that everything taken or done in moderation is acceptable. Unfortunately, my experience with moderation has been limited to reading its definition in a dictionary. I’ve been extreme is every aspect of my life. That has led to substantial success, but even greater failure. The landscape of my life is littered with the carcasses of broken relationships as I slavishly pursued my destruction.
I was proclaimed dead in February 2002, partly because my liver no longer functioned. For some unfathomable reason, I regained consciousness, and am very much alive today. To say the journey back into life and society was challenging would be an understatement, but further details are superfluous here. I’ll just say I was given the gift of desperation. I’ll never forget the phrase, “After darkness comes the dawn.” Countless nights I lay alone clinging desperately to that concept in order to survive the night.
After a life or extremes, craziness, and turmoil, I’m now living the final chapter of my life in a place I consider to be paradise. I’ve always wanted to live in the tropics and, as mentioned, once briefly did. I’m no longer actively involved in the financial accumulation phase of my life. It’s now a time for reflection and relative calm. I’ve two more books being published in the next few months, am involved in a loving relationship, have excellent health, and have been generously accepted into Negros Oriental social and academic life. I have much to be grateful for. And I am.
It’s an understandable but destructive aspect of human nature to focus on negatively, on sadness, on life’s inevitable disappointments. I view this approach as an unacceptable form of self-pity. I refuse to allow negative thoughts about the past to enter my consciousness because apart from a brief moment of comfort, the downside isn’t worth it. I have an overabundance of sadness in my life, and acknowledge it, but I never allow it to overpower me, and control of my emotional peace of mind.
Instead of wallowing in self-pity, I choose to rejoice in what I have, rather than in what I don’t have. It’s wisest for me to accept the things I can’t change, or to change the things I can, while understanding the significant differences between both realities.
All I really own is this precious moment. Now. But it’s quickly gone, so I enjoy it while setting aside the past, and not looking toward a future that may never happen. And a time will come in all our lives when tomorrow will not come. So I deliberately choose to embrace today. That consciousness has liberated me, and provided me with true wealth.
I’m living my dream. I’m getting to do what many aspire to, but few actually experience. Sadly, many foreigners who live here get sidetracked by frustrations caused by the many organizational shortcomings that exist here. But after one has lived here a while, surely it becomes obvious these inefficiencies will not change during our lifetime? So what’s the upside to the whining I hear from foreigners who are, like me, simply guests in this tropical paradise?
I woke this morning earlier than usual. Dawn was slowly creeping across the sky. I lay for a while captivated by the effortless, unfolding beauty. Sounds of dogs barking across the valley reached up the mountainside. Roosters strutted around vigorously proclaiming their virility. Other less strident, calmer sounds had replaced the night’s sometimes frenetic music. I went downstairs, and enjoyed the aroma of coffee beans percolating before drinking a cup on the veranda.
Vhie is at present in Thailand, so I’m both mommy and daddy to our daughter Sunshine. Both are tasks for which I’m ill-equipped, but Sunshine makes it easy. Getting her up each morning is the main challenge. After much yawning, she finally got up. I prepared breakfast while listening to her singing happily in the shower. After dropping her off at school, the excellent Lifegiver Christian Academy, I drove into Dumaguete then along Rizal Boulevard. As always, I enjoyed the sight of vessels at sea, and Siquijor shimmering in the morning sunlight. I went into Tom N Toms where I enjoyed their expensive but excellent cappuccino. I passed the rest of the day grading exam papers, and working on the final draft of my book More Almost-True Irish Stories that will be published in December. At 5 pm, I collected Sunshine, brought her home, cooked dinner, then we worked for an hour and a half on her homework before she went to bed.
It’s nighttime now. Nature’s nightly chorus surrounds me with music from birds, crickets, geckos, and other sounds I can’t identify. There’s no wind. An unusual stillness prevails. A full moon over the cloudless sky reveals countless stars sparkling like well-polished jewels. The Tañon Strait that lays between Negros Oriental and Cebu provides shelter for the merchant vessels whose lights intermittently flash. Beyond them, the island of Cebu sits imposingly, secure in its rightful place in this vast archipelago. Sounds will change during the night as Nature’s orchestra shifts moods. If I wake during the night, they will soon lull me back to sleep.
Tomorrow, I’ll hopefully wake to the sight of another magnificent red-fingered sky announcing the dawn. But if I don’t, how sweet it will have been to end my complex life journey on my beloved mountain, high above the City of Gentle People, while living on this beautiful Philippine island.
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Author’s email: irishauthormichaelcassidy@gmail.com
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