Gabby, the ‘unofficial’ mascot of GPRehab, will soon be graduating from the elementary grades this year.
He is a 12-year-old boy who has cerebral palsy, a brain condition that affects movement. As a result, Gabby is stiff and uncoordinated, with the stiffness increasing with effort, even when speaking. He has great difficulty using his arms, and even maintaining an upright position by himself. From time to time, his arms flail about, his face twitches, and his legs straighten out especially when he gets excited. He cannot move about by himself, stand, or much less, walk.
Despite this, however, Gabby has stayed in school through all these years. He spent three years in one of the local pre-schools, and has been going to City Central School for the past six years.
When people look at Gabby, most of the time they only see the abnormal movements, the facial grimaces, the wheelchair. They may think how difficult it must have been for him to come so far in his life, going to the public school, and coping with the demands of getting an education.
Yes indeed, Gabby’s education comes with a price. For behind Gabby’s success are the sacrifices that his mother has to make so that he can at least be like other children.
Bebe, Gabriel’s mother, had him at the age of 47. She is a single mother who tries to make ends meet by selling everything, from make-up to lingerie to detergents.
These days, her day practically starts with weightlifting — for she has to get Gabby, all 23 kilos of him, out of bed, carry him to the bathroom where she gives him a bath, dry him, carry him back to the bedroom, dress him up, put him on his wheelchair, and feed him breakfast. Then it is off to school where she lifts him, and his wheelchair into the pedicab, out of the pedicab, up three steps into the corridors of the building, before finally pushing his chair into the classroom.
During those schoolyears when Gabby’s classes were held on the 2nd floor, Bebe had to haul him in his wheelchair up and down two flights of stairs. Most of the time, she did this all by herself, with only occasional help from the young pupils or other parents. Many a time, the school’s maintenance person rebuffed her when she asked for help.
But Bebe was undaunted by all these challenges she and her son faced. When her request for a classroom on the ground floor was refused, she did not pull him out but instead, flexed her muscles for the daily grind of stair-climbing with her son. (This year, the City Division Superintendent intervened, and ordered the transfer of Gabby’s grade 6 classroom to the ground floor.)
One time, despite one scoutmaster’s hesitation, she insisted on Gabby joining a Cub Scout Camp, selling plastic bottles so she could buy him his uniform. And join Gabby did, participating in drills and marches, together with his therapist who pushed his wheelchair around.
During parades, symposia or any disability awareness-raising activities in Dumaguete or any town or city in the Province, Bebe would be there, with Gabby in his chair.
Whenever Gabby was invited to sing or participate in any gathering, she would take him there.
Because of Gabby’s medical needs and having limited financial resources, she does not hesitate to go from one office to another, inquiring or submitting requirements for any government assistance that can be given. Everything she would do, for her beloved son.
Bebe is a cook, housecleaner, laundry woman, caregiver, teacher, physical therapist, nurse, tutor, in addition to being a weightlifter. With her small build, it is quite amazing what she can do…and to think, she will turn 60 soon!
People do not have a real grasp about what mothers of children with cerebral palsy go through everyday as they take care of them.
The physical, coupled with the mental and financial, challenges they face practically every moment of their waking lives, is not for the faint-hearted.
There’s the constant fear for their children’s lives, the apprehension about the future, the need for the already-scarce therapy services and assistive devices, the necessity of education–all these things go through their minds almost every moment.
What adds to the challenges is the predominantly-uncaring attitude of the people around them, of society. From stares to judgmental arrogance (Gipa abort ni nimo no?) to snide remarks (Gigabaan na siya…) to discrimination (Nganong pugson man gyod ni nimo nga ipasulod sa regular nga eskwelahan nga di man gyod ni siya makahibalo mosulat?), even the nonchalance displayed by individuals who just watch while she grapples with a heavy wheelchair — all these they have to contend with almost everyday.
I have heard of children with cerebral palsy who are required by teachers to do long seatwork or worse, submit hand-sewn projects, activities that are physically-impossible for them to do because of the nature of their condition.
These kids can write, yes, they can. But they should be given time to do this because the more they make an effort, the worse the stiffness gets.
Cerebral palsy is a vicious cycle of effort and movement–the more the person tries, the more stiff or spastic he gets, the more difficult it will be for him.
I am reminded of another mother of a child with cerebral palsy who was told by a principal: Ma’am, kining imong bata di gyod ni makahibalo mosulat. Kun imo ni siyang pugson pagpaeskwela sa among eskwelahan, imo ra ni gi-torture.
Such statements are hardly unusual for mothers of children with disabilities.
It is said that a mother’s dream is to see her child grow up to be happy and successful.
For mothers of children with cerebral palsy, what could be their dreams for their kids? Have you ever wondered?
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Author’s email: GPrehab@yahoo.com
