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Solving the Philippines

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Eureka! I’ve finally done it. I’ve “solved” the Philippines.

While I’m reveling in my success, you may be wondering what problem needed solving, in the first place. 

As we all know, foreigners that visit, vacation, and live in the Philippines are long on complaints. In general, I don’t think we’re a bad lot (probably no better or worse than anyone else), but certain subjects tend to dominate our expat conversations. 

For instance, you’ll hear us harping on about the long lines we have to wait in, inefficiency in business, confusion in governmental affairs, always waiting for Filipinos who are running late, and the 2-hour bus rides that actually take 7 hours.  

I feel these frustrations, too – probably more than others. But I’ve resolved to do my best and just chill, practice patience, and swallow my negative words before I turn into yet another curmudgeonly foreigner. 

But I finally figured out how I can adapt, turning one of the biggest downfalls of living in the Philippines into an overwhelmingly positive experience. This revelation is life-altering for me, but I’m sure many wise (and cool-headed) expats are already doing this.

I’m going to start bringing a book with me everywhere I go.

It seems so obvious that it’s not even worth dedicating newspaper ink to, right? But, like most epiphanies, its power lies in its simplicity. 

I’m going to make sure I have a book with me at all times, in my backpack, curled into my back pocket, or even just held in hand.

So every time I’m in line at the bank, and my ticket is H78 but they’re only calling  A12, I can take my book out and start reading. 

But this is no mere exercise to pass the time. I’m going to immerse myself in books about history, culture, scientific breakthroughs, inspiring biographies, positive thinking, and even languages.

Sure, I thought about carrying around a copy of “50 Shades of Gray” just to inspire eye-rolling looks of disappointment (and interest). But I’ll stick to books that titillate my mind muscle, instead.

I might even start carrying a highlighter, and maybe a little notepad and a pen so I can document my thoughts and reactions.

And I can do this on my phone as well, loading up e-books to read anywhere and anytime. But a print book is better because it never runs out of battery and might be a conversation starter, especially if I’m reading a book about the Philippines or even written by a Dumagueteño.  

Think of the possibilities!

A visit to the doctor? I just knocked off the complete works of Shakespeare.

Taking a bus to Cebu? I’ll be fluent in Visayan.

As much as I fly CebuPacific, I’ll be a friggin genius, with my IQ quickly climbing to 140 (a leap of about 100 points).

Foreigners like myself now have no excuse to be grumpy AND anything short of brilliant, as there will be a direct correlation between the amount of time we have to wait and our brain power. 

Boom! I’ve solved the Philippines. 

Now please excuse me as I walk into this bookstore to set my plan in action.

Whoa, that’s a long line. Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow. 

________________________________

Author’s email: [email protected]

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