Fellow classmates dressed in the outrageous look of the 70s, beloved teachers, and our special guests, good evening!
Thank you for inviting me as the Speaker for tonight. At first, I thought it was rather unusual to be invited as the Speaker in my own High School Class Reunion. I would like to think that you invited me because you believe that I have something substantial to share about my life. Or, perhaps you thought I would bring along my daughter Brina and so you will get to meet her in person. But if the main reason is because you think that this is the only way that you can get me to join our High School Class reunion after having been “missing in action” for 35 years, still I am truly honored. For that also tells me that you missed having me around and that you are ready to welcome the return of your Prodigal President.
What can I tell you that you don’t already know? After 35 years, we have hurdled enough challenges in our lives that have made us stronger and wiser persons. Perhaps my winning “The Nationwide Search for the Happiest Pinoy” made you wonder if I had a magic formula for happiness that I can prescribe for you. No, I do not have a magic formula for happiness. Even I was surprised when I won the contest because honestly, before that, I never really gave any serious philosophical thought on what happiness is and what it takes to live a happy life. Laughter and a positive outlook were simply how I coped with the trials and travails of life. To me, negativity does not serve any useful purpose. Negativity cannot change the way things are and it definitely does not make the situation any better.
One of the sayings by St. Augustine, who is the favorite saint of my two daughters Alayne and Carlin, is that happiness is “a rejoicing in the truth.” But how does one rejoice in the face of a painful truth? Did I rejoice when the doctor came out of the delivery room to tell me that my newborn daughter Brina had Down Syndrome? No, I was devastated beyond words. I even kept on fervently praying that the doctor was mistaken until the genetic test confirmed that Brina indeed has Down Syndrome. What about the time when another doctor told us that Brina was very frail and her body was so weak that she will not live long? What about the time when a psychologist told us that Brina cannot even finish Grade 3? Did I rejoice over those painful truths? No! I sulked in deep sadness and despair. Did I rejoice when the doctor told me that I had a rare, incurable, painful and debilitating sickness called Ankylosing Spondylitis that would cause so much pain everyday, that my spine will eventually fuse and become rigid that I could be paralyzed or I could die early? No, I was overcome with grief. It felt like some part of me had already died because I was sentenced to a life of pain, agony and suffering.
So when did I start rejoicing in the truth about my intellectually disabled daughter and my physically disabled body? It was when I began to graciously accept that these are things in my life that I cannot change. No matter what I do, I cannot make my daughter normal and I cannot make my disease go away. God is good. I trust in His wisdom; I trust in His love. I believe that He has a purpose for challenging me in these ways. Happiness is a choice. Everyday, I wake up with pain in my back. As I speak to you now, I am in pain. But I choose to rejoice and focus instead on what makes my life worth living. No matter what the circumstances of my life are and will be, with God’s grace, I have chosen, I am choosing, and I will choose, to be happy.
Aside from choosing to be happy, there is something else I choose to do everyday. When the going gets rough, I know that God will not abandon me. He sends to me angels to make my suffering a bit bearable. His angels come in many forms – in the form of a caring wife like Alina, a loving family, dear friends, supportive classmates like you, excellent doctors and nurses, dedicated therapists, patient teachers, loyal caregivers, other patients who suffer just like me, an understanding boss, hardworking colleagues and subordinates, a new effective medicine, a cheaper but just as effective medicine, the scientists who conduct research on my disease to come up with the cure some day – the list grows longer by the day. There is so much gratitude in my heart for the relief, assistance, encouragement and support they give me. They are life’s blessings and they inspire me to continue with my struggles. So everyday, I thank God for His angels and I know that my gratitude attracts more angels to keep on coming.
My wonderful daughters Alayne, Brina and Carlin are three of my very precious angels. They bring so much joy and meaning to my life. Alayne is now a graduating student in the Ateneo de Manila University. She is the President of their College organization Ateneo Lex. Carlin is in Grade 7. She graduated from Grade 6 last March as First Honors among 450 classmates in Colegio San Agustin. Indeed, they make any father happy and proud. But, I would like to especially mention Brina for surprising me with an insight that is all her own. One day when she was about 10 years old, Brina suddenly declared, “I love my life and I love my future!” And I laughed, thinking it was just some random babbling she had heard on TV. But Brina says it all the time with so much conviction, and says it again and again, each time thereafter with even more conviction. So when I pondered on this, I realized that Brina is right: that this is what happiness is really all about: believing that your life is beautiful as it is today, and hoping that tomorrow will be even better.
I look at Brina and I see the beautiful person that she is, not her disability. Her condition means that she has many limitations, but ever since she was a young toddler, I always told her that she is “the best Down Syndrome kid in the world.” And true enough, despite her intellectual disability, Brina is excelling in the little ways that she can. She graduated High School as Class Valedictorian at the appropriate age of 16. She is now in College. She is currently the Special Olympics Global Youth Ambassador representing Asia-Pacific. My father even said that she has bested everyone in the family. We, with our normal mental faculties that garnered academic honors, “laudes,” postgraduate degrees and professional distinctions, never had the privilege of having been invited to the White House to dine with the most powerful man on earth, the US President and his wife, never had our names mentioned by him, and never had the opportunity to speak before him and his distinguished guests. My beautiful special child, at the tender age of 17, has achieved more than what we can even imagine for ourselves and she has done so on the global stage! I have stopped laughing at Brina when she talks about her dreams and future plans because somehow they come true in the most miraculous way and under unexpected circumstances.
Now the tables are turned and I am now the one learning valuable lessons from my daughter. I will thus now declare with as much conviction, “I love my life and I love my future. I am the best Ankylosing Spondylitis patient in the world.” I will not let my disease define me nor diminish me, I will strive to excel in the small ways that I can, and then I will allow the miracles to happen!
As I end my speech, I would like to invite you to reflect on the area of your life that you dislike so much. If it is something you can change, then by all means make the change happen. But, if it is something you can do nothing about, maybe it will help if you stop hating it and start accepting it. Trust that God has a meaningful purpose for it. It might not be clear to you now, but there will come a time when you will look back and understand the meaning. You will then realize that it has actually made you a stronger and better person. For who could have guessed that the disease that once brought me grief became the factor why I won the national distinction as the first Happiest Pinoy? And, who could have foreseen that the child whose genetic disability devastated me is now the source of pride for myself, for our family and even for the country? If I had given up to despair and negativity those many years ago, I would not be reaping today these small but glorious victories. I was once hailed nationally, and was thus popularly known, as the Happiest Pinoy, but today I am simply known as the father of Brina. These are just two of the things that make my life happy and beautiful!
When you go home tonight, I hope you will remember these three lessons from Brina and me: Acceptance, Gratitude and Excellence. A for Acceptance —accept wholeheartedly the things that you cannot change, G for Gratitude —gratefully acknowledge the many angels whom God sends your way, and E for Excellence — excel quietly in the little ways that you can. That spells A-G-E. So let us remember to AGE graciously everyday and reap happiness along the way. Then let us watch as God rewards our trust in Him with magical moments and majestic miracles that we never even imagined are possible.
Thank you for listening to a part of my humble life story. Cheers to Silliman High School Class ’79, my pride, my honor. (Winston A. Maxino)
