I was watching this lady friend of mine doing her “before-going-to-bed rituals” and I was amazed on how she takes care of her body. She brushed her teeth longer than any normal human would, then after that, she washed her face with facial scrub (she’s not the type who gets contented with the common bath soap). Then cleansing cream follows and ends it with a night moisturizer.
I thought she was finished but no, there was the hair to attend to (she’s got long silky hair). She had to brush it 100 times to achieve the kind of effect that she wants for her hair. Following that was a 10-minute stretching with the hands, hips, and legs. And before finally calling it a night, she drinks a long glass of sparkling water.
Frankly, I was speechless watching her every move. I find it so amusing that a human being can take care of her body like that, however, I didn’t want to appear impolite, so I didn’t say a thing. I am not saying that what she did was wrong. She’s right in taking care of herself but I just realized something while I was watching her. We humans take care of our bodies so well, yet, we don’t do as much with our minds. Why is that? Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health?
We bear with our psychological wounds more often than we do physical ones — wounds such as failure, rejection or unhappiness. Didn’t we know that they can get worse if we ignore them, and they can affect our lives in spectacular ways more than the physical wounds? And yet, even if there are scientifically proven methods that we could utilize to attend or treat these types of psychological wounds, we don’t. In fact, it doesn’t even occur to us that we should. How many times have we heard this conversation — Are you feeling depressed? C’mon shake it off, it’s all in your head. Can you imagine saying that to someone with a broken leg? Oh, your leg is broken, c’mon, just walk it off, it’s all in your leg. Try saying that to a friend and you’ll surely get a punch in the nose.
Desolation and unhappiness produce deep psychological wounds, the ones that twist our perceptions and maneuvers our thinking. It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. It make us fear of reaching out, because we’re thinking, why set myself up for rejection and heartache when my heart is already aching more than I can stand?
Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure? You should, you need to. Because if your mind attempts to convince you that you’re incapable of achieving something, then you believe it, then you’re done! This is the reason why so many people function below their actual potential. Because somewhere in the past, a failure convinced them that they couldn’t succeed, and they believed it. Once you have become convinced of something, it’s very difficult to change your mind.
Yes, it might be very natural for us to feel discouraged and frustrated after we fail. But we cannot allow ourselves to become convinced that we cannot succeed. We need to combat that feeling of helplessness and impotence. We need to learn how to gain control over situations. We need to break this kind of negative cycle before it actually begins.
But why do we succumb to psychological wounds all the time? Because, for many of us, psychological or mental health is NOT a priority. While we are aware from so many studies that when our self-esteem is low, we are more vulnerable to stress and to anxiety, we don’t do anything, so unlike when we are physically injured, we always go to a hospital, see a doctor or scramble to buy medicines. We know that failures and rejections hurt more, that it takes longer for us to recover from them, yet, we ignore these as if nothing has happened.
What can be done?
We need to take action when we are lonely. We need to change our responses to failure. By safeguarding our self-esteem, by combating destructive thoughts, we won’t just heal our psychological wounds, we will likewise build emotional resilience and we will thrive and survive.
Can you envisage what the world would be like if everyone is psychologically healthier? If there were fewer lonely people and there was less depression? If people knew how to surmount over failure? If people feel better about themselves and are more empowered? If people were happier and more fulfilled? Well, I can, because that’s the kind of world I want to be in.
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Author’s email: legis616821@gmail.com
