Expatriates who come to Dumaguete are usually single men of retirement age, men who are alone in life for various reasons, and those who may want to start over.
They have friends who have come here and had encouraged them to move, or they may have read glowing reports about the City in various websites.
They come here because there is no winter, because English is widely understood, because it seems less alien than other Asian destinations, because the people they see around them are charming and attractive.
But most of all, they come here looking for companionship — love and maybe marriage, with a woman young enough to start a family with them, care for them as the years pass, and carry their children through school. A new life.
And they do find that here, more often than not.
They set up house, and settle in with their new partners. Soon, they find themselves connected in a social circle with other expats and their young local partners, but almost nobody else.
How could it be otherwise? The ex-pats are men in middle age at best, often not physically- attractive, with no previous connections to the social life around them. They are strangers here, foreigners, and always will be.
The women they find here are young, and often beautiful, but they are often just above the poverty level, and not necessarily highly-educated. They marry foreigners to save themselves and their families from a poor life seemingly without future.
They do their best to be good wives to their men, and care for any children that may come.
But it’s duty and affection for them, not “romantic love” in the Western sense. They keep those feelings in reserve for boys their own age, and never mention them.
It’s a practical arrangement on both sides. The expats and their wives have 90 percent of what they really need from each other — affection, companionship, and security.
They have friends, and they form a tight little social community with people like themselves.
The expatriates have found what they came here for — a new life, a new family, new friends.
Their wives have also found what they were looking for — security for themselves and their families. These relationships can be stable, and can last for life.
Of course it’s not paradise for either side. There can be bad times and quarrels — there always are.
But it’s still better than being poor. And better than being alone.
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