SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA– Filipinos have this notion that once you’re out of the country, you’ve finally ‘made it’ regardless of what you are actually doing in the foreign land.
The reality is that even if it may seem like you’re doing well, it’s not always the case. It’s like that duck metaphor — so calm and relaxed above waters but underneath, it’s paddling like its life depends on it.
I’ve been told that I seem to have done well for myself here in Sydney. In some ways, it’s true. I would never exchange my life now for anything else.
But it takes a lot of effort to maintain such a lifestyle. It is never as easy as it seems. Based on my own experience, these are the things I have to do to keep things going well here.
A lot of hard work
Filipinos overseas are extremely hard workers. It sometimes feels like we need to prove ourselves twice as hard because we’re in a foreign land.
Plus there is the language barrier. I’m lucky that I’m in an English-based country, but can you imagine the ones living in countries like Germany or France where they have to learn another language to integrate into society?
A friend of mine had to pass a language test just to be able to get an admin job. That’s only the first hurdle.
Then you need to find a job, and make sure you keep it. And what if you are raising a family? It’s not like you can call your in-laws to help because, well, they are in the Philippines. A nanny? Out of the question. It costs an arm and a leg to hire a housemaid and/or a nanny. You have to do everything yourself. Everything.
Finding your community
This is when community comes in handy. You need to create a community around you so you have support.
Studies have shown that social isolation kills. It can be lonely being on your own, leaving everything familiar behind just for a shot at greener pastures.
I’ve been lucky to find friends here I can rely on. Over the years, my husband and I have created a community around ourselves — people we can lean on, people we trust. It hasn’t been easy because it gets harder to make friends as you get older. But we were able to find our tribe.
This also means that there is a support system around our daughter — a mixture of Filipinos and non-Filipinos here in Australia.
Stop pretending
I figured out a long time ago that I need to avoid other Filipinos overseas whose main goal in life is to pretend they’re well off by parading their branded things.
It doesn’t appeal to me, and it’s not my goal in life. I don’t own a Chanel bag. I don’t have Jimmy Choo shoes. I don’t drive around in a Benz. And I’m totally okay with that.
I measure success differently, and it’s not on material things. I don’t pretend to have money when I don’t. I don’t pretend to be rich when I’m not. I don’t pretend to be okay when I’m feeling blue and nostalgic. I do my best to keep my integrity, and be myself — whether you like me or not.
I’m not sure how others do it but what I’m doing is working for me. I have a healthy and happy family. We get to visit the Philippines often. My career is flourishing as an author and co-owner of a digital marketing company.
It’s going well but I’m still not claiming to have ‘made it’. All I can safely say is that I’m happy.
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Author’s email: kmlevis@gmail.com
