Two years ago, I went through a difficult journey when my only sister, Dedita was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was a roller coaster ride for us. What made it more difficult was that she lived a thousand miles away, that is, the United States of America. For those of us in the Philippines, we, her siblings were prioritized to be with her during that time. So my two older brothers and I made the trip and was with her before she died in July 5, 2015.
Cancer is a disease which still plagues mankind and claims many lives each year. According to Dr. Manuel Francisco T. Roxas, “Cancer is the third leading cause of morbidity and mortality in the Philippines, and the fourth leading cause of childhood mortality (Philippine Health Statistics, 2010). One hundred eighty-nine of every 100,000 Filipinos are afflicted with cancer (189,000/100million population) while four Filipinos die of cancer every hour (96 everyday — UP Institute of Human Genetics, National Institute of Health).”
He adds, “These figures are expected to dramatically increase over the next decade as our population continues to double, age and prosper.” He gives this warning: “To dramatize the point: our friends, loved ones, and ourselves are at risk.”
Here are 15 gentle pieces of advice from Elizabeth Jenkins when a loved one or friend receives a terminal diagnosis like cancer or the Big C.
1. Try to live as normally as possible.
2. Spread the word appropriately.
3. Ask questions.
4. Don’t impose your opinion.
5. Really listen
6. Laugh often
7. Provide real support
8. Discuss logistical matters.
9. Don’t encourage false hope.
10. Create a wish list.
11. Touch them if they’re open to it.
12. Divide up the responsibilities.
13. Help them maintain their dignity.
14. Don’t stay away.
15. Allow yourself to grieve before you attempt to heal.
After the diagnosis, here are some tips on how to cope:
1. Get the facts about your cancer diagnosis.
2. Keep the lines of communication open.
3. Anticipate possible physical changes.
4. Maintain a healthy lifestyle.
5. Let family and friends help you.
6. Review your goals and priorities.
7. Talk to other people with cancer.
8. Fight stigmas.
9. Develop your own coping strategies.
10. Consider how your diagnosis impact your finances.
11. Seek spiritual support and pray often. (Mayo Clinic).
Just hang on there and do not lose hope. Be kind to yourself. Your sense of hope and confidence can increase with time. Try to find strength from this verse.
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Author’s email: nenita.tayko@foundationU.com
