Picture this: If you had a child and they would be lost in the woods, would you rather they encounter a bear or a man?
The internet exploded with this situation when men were given a situation: if their child (some would say daughter) got lost in the woods, would they rather have them encounter a man (a stranger) or a bear and most of the men, with silent deliberation, would choose the bear.
Though this started with showing the evident changes in the men’s facial expression as they realize what a man can do compared to what a bear would do – from deep thought to shock to guilty acceptance that they would much rather choose an animal over another man – the post has now sparked a debate that would end up with a discussion on gender.
This premise evolved from being a viral reaction post to a discussion on a heavier matter as women express their darkest fears, and even personal experiences, defending why they would also choose the bear. This post was meant to highlight the fact that men, without being thrust into a situation and forced to be in the shoes of women, would not understand how it feels like for a woman (a lady or a girl) to constantly be on edge the moment they step out of their comfort zone.
But when did this fear start? How did it become so natural for us, women, to constantly be looking around, constantly being conscious of our appearance, constantly taking extra measures to ensure that we feel safe or heard or even valued? I tell you this, it starts SLOW. It starts when we slowly grow in this world – the moment when we are slowly exposed to reality.
It starts out harmless (or so people say). A kid being forced to sit on someone’s lap even though they feel uncomfortable, kindergarteners being told to let their classmates hold their hands because “it’s cute!”, and even children being forced to keep quiet when they start to have a tantrum from people invading their personal space – like kisses and cheek pinches. Small acts that slowly, without our knowledge, get ingrained in our beings and our identities.
The prepubescent years aren’t better at all when society draws a clear line between male and female by providing gender roles. Though we may live in the 21st century, our very existence is nothing short of being a mere clone forged from years of generational traditions and mindsets. Girls should not fight with boys physically because it is unladylike, girls should sit with their legs closed, girls should be the bigger person and not mind it if they are teased, girls should not be too sensitive, and girls should learn to clean and cook so when we grow up, society would accept us as not only being independent but responsible. Slowly, we lose our innocence.
To society, catcalls and wolf whistles are normal behavior – they are harmless, playful, and even close to endearing. When we find ourselves as the subject of such things, we should consider it as a compliment – for that symbolizes attraction and such an act is merely a show of admiration. Why do we have to be so sensitive? A stolen kiss takes one’s breath away, we should accept it for it shows they are enticed by us – it is romantic. If someone grabs us and touches us inappropriately, we should simply push them away. Anything more, and we’re making it a big deal. Slowly, we lose our value.
When enough is enough, we fight back. We stand our ground. We speak up. Yet slowly, that little girl peeks out and, despite our chins being held high, we start getting scared! With fear comes defense. We become defensive, we build walls, we draw lines, we give spaces. But we also hide, we cover ourselves, we blend in, we keep quiet. We start paying attention to our surroundings, we don’t trust easily, and yes, we are on edge. Slowly, we embrace what is normal.
Being a woman in a society that sees us as mere objects yet hides behind the notion of empowerment and equality is exhausting. A darker side of society still fights to keep us at bay, to hinder us, to subdue us, and to put us in our place. Unspeakable acts are still being done to women all over the world. The face may change but the crime remains the same.
I speak of women, yet the crimes done by men to their fellow men are equally alarming. Some twisted minds find pleasure in exhibiting their power and strength through brutal means. All throughout history, man has been the most villainous and violent among all creatures. They kill not for survival nor instinct; they kill for pleasure.
So, yes, the bear. Why the bear? Because when bears attach, it’s sudden, not slow.
At least we know the outcome. It’s a simple coin toss. We either live and escape or get mauled and die. But with a man? The odds of them being a cold-hearted criminal and performing terrifying and inhumane things to the body (alive or otherwise) may be slim but it is a chance not worth taking.
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