Ideally, the type or nature of work one has, and the amount of effort spent is relative to the stage of the family life cycle one belongs.
Except for those who maintained their single blessedness and without biological or sociological children, one model shows three major family life stages: beginning or forming family, expanding or growing family, and contracting or dissolving family. There are substages in between based on the number and whereabouts of children.
The same work and family need equation applies to both the husband and the wife if they are gainfully working or employed. The assumption is that the couple only have to make enough money to support their family’s basic needs, but this varies at different family life stages. There are no other expenses to worry about because there is no need to acquire something other than those essential in life.
But in the current situation, humans do not only cater to and satisfy their basic survival needs. They also have “wants” to meet created by the market and promoted through social media.
Hence, the effort spent on work now is higher than how much money is needed to buy these commodities. Expectedly, the upper, middle and lower classes differ. It is more difficult for the poor without stable income sources to enjoy their needs and wants in the face of worsening inflation.
Those who belong to my age cohort, between 60 to 65 years old, and enjoying a regular monthly salary, must be contemplating now what their life is or will be after the compulsory retirement age. Will they continue to work or completely move away from stressful work? These must be questions with anticipated answers now, even if retirement day is still coming. Only God knows, but He must also say that we should get ready.
Whatever aging parents’ decisions might be, these must have been grounded on their past experiences when they were younger and actively at work. Indeed, the pressure to get a better-paying job, an increase in take-home pay, and a promotion were very high compared to the latter years. And how much income and assets they accumulated or wasted through those productive years determines how secure they will face retirement.
In an ideal situation, every newly married people prepared foremost for their first child and those yet coming according to a desired number they could afford to raise and give a dignified life.
But others do not mind this because they believe it depends on how many children God will provide. They either live independently or with the wife’s parents, which is most likely the case, depending on how financially prepared the couple is or the economic and health status of the parents.
Expectedly, the co-resident couple will have different experiences from those having separate abodes. The latter must work harder and more determined, knowing they have no ready support. Data from a 2019 national survey (https://www.eria.org/publications/ageing-and-health-in-the-philippines/) show that some aging parents are not that miserable. Some extended financial assistance (47%) and material support (52%) to their co-resident married children. The support of aging parents, who have money from pensions or business, is also extended to their grandchildren.
But the aging parent did not complain in contrast to some young people’s disapproval expressed on social media about the cultural obligation of financially assisting aging parents. They should know, however, that their parents had worked hard for them, even deliberately forgetting to prepare for their retirement. It may not be viewed as an obligation because the economic and cultural situations have changed. Still, it could be treated as an expression of gratitude that is emotionally and psychologically relieving and connecting to the aging parents and the children.
Parents who know what life would be like during old age work very hard for their children’s future as a cultural obligation and evolutionary requirement. But even if they worked harder, the expenses were too much for a growing family given the difficult times.
Incidentally, not all children would have this kind of parents who put foremost the welfare of their children and put aside their own needs or wants.
As a form of delayed gratification, parents calculated the cost and benefits of prioritizing what is more relevant while putting on the side what could wait.
An example is not securing a car loan, which is a liability even if used to go to school or work because it requires maintenance costs and would depreciate its value.
More so, there are less costly options. A better financial decision is spending on children’s education and getting their own house than the rent, which are investments. Others prioritized children’s education and building a house only after they earned their degrees and have jobs.
Knowing I will have only a modest pension in the private sector, unlike my wife, I work harder to prepare for my retirement for essential foods, domestic needs, and, foremost, medicines. And perhaps more travels to enjoy life once confined to work.
As a couple, we have educationally and economically prepared our children, who will eventually navigate their family life stages. We will not burden and obligate them to assist us financially, but we will be grateful to receive gifts just like little children during their time.
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Author’s email: enriquegoracion@su.edu.ph
